When you hear the phrase ‘ego trip’ what do you imagine?
For me, I’d picture someone showing off, being loud, or making everything about them.
I looked up the definition, and this seemed to back up what I was thinking:
“An activity done to increase one’s sense of self-importance.”
But several years ago, I came across a very different way of looking at ego.
I had never thought of myself as having a big ego, but this stopped me in my tracks.
A different way to see ego
I had seen a free webinar advertised with a lady called Judith Sedgeman.
The title was:
“Insecurity is the ultimate ego trip.”
Even before attending the webinar the title had got me reflecting.
I knew that I could feel insecure at times.
For instance, ever since becoming self-employed I had worried about money more than I used to.
I didn’t enjoy this at all, yet it seemed to come with the territory because every month was different and occasionally, I could have a ‘slow’ month.
What does the ego do?
It’s the part of us that’s constantly scanning for potential threats.
Go back in time and there were real threats to our existence – starvation, predation, or failing to ‘fit in’ with our tribe.
Today it’s rare that we’re genuinely threatened yet the human ego has gone into overdrive.
Many people have become hypervigilant and live in an almost constant state of anxiety.
Can you eliminate insecurity?
It’s so easy to pin our sense of well-being on external conditions.
We think that if we get all our ducks lined up in a row and eliminate situations that make us feel insecure, then we’ll be at peace.
But this is an illusion.
The outside world does not cause our inner experience. Whatever experience we are having in the moment, it happens through thought.
We feel our thinking, not our circumstances.
Why does this matter?
When we understand how thought works – that it is transient, and the mind will naturally return to presence and clarity of its own accord – the less seriously we take feeling insecure.
And this seems to be the crucial point.
Insecurity will come and go, just the same as the many other thoughts and feelings we have during the course of an hour, day, week, and so on.
What really matters is how much you care about how you feel.
If you’re not insecure about feeling insecure then you can feel it, be ok with it, and it will simply move through you.
I found that the less attention I paid to my insecure thoughts the more available I am for what really matters.
