Problem solving

Problem solving refers to the process of how we gain new thinking or the direction we look in for new insights.

The most effective sales programme of all

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I recently met up for coffee with a friend who runs a business networking group.

At one point our conversation drifted on to some of her members and what business they were in. She was telling me about one particular member who had a business teaching people about how to sell.

The basis of the sales programme (which was a franchise) was that for every and any possible thing a prospective client could come up with, you would have a pre-prepared answer.

So, if the prospect said this, you’d say that. And so on…

The problem was, for this member, was that people didn’t really connect with her and she wasn’t getting any business. Which isn’t great when you’re teaching how to sell!

Here’s an observation.

The more we fill up our minds with thinking the less able we are to connect, in a meaningful way, with other people. To connect with others we need to be interested (in them), attentive, curious, willing to listen and unattached to the outcome.

This is impossible to do if we are listening to our own thinking at the same time – you cannot effectively be in two conversations at once.

This just isn’t possible.

Sales in an interesting activity. Although for many business people selling is an essential part of what they do, whether this is gaining new clients, continuing to add value to existing relationships or sharing ideas with co-workers, it’s an area that holds more than its fair share of challenges.

Just the idea of it can send many otherwise high-functioning, confident, personable and potentially great sellers onto an emotional roller coaster ride of negativity.

Why does this happen?

They create all this thinking around selling that makes them feel insecure – ‘I hate selling.’, ‘I’m just not cut out for this.’, ‘What if they say no?’, ‘I just need to convince them’, etc.

If it looks like the situation (i.e. selling) comes with all these feelings attached to it, then its avoided. People force themselves to cope under the circumstances or they go on a training programme (like the one mentioned) that fills their mind up with even more thinking.

None of these really help but, thankfully, there is another, better approach.

The most effective sales programme you could ever go on would have its foundation in just one fact –  there is no link between our inner experience and our outer circumstances. Selling cannot make us feel a certain way. Our experience comes from thought, not our external world.

It wouldn’t teach you mind management techniques, sales techniques or closing techniques because doing so would be adding thinking to your mind when it is having less on your mind that helps most of all.

Also, it actually doesn’t matter if we get negative thinking or nervous about selling. What matters is our understanding of what is really going on if we do.

When we see that our experience is coming from thought then the mind will self-correct back to clarity and presence. No techniques required.

With a quiet mind, selling becomes a joyful experience of simply giving time to another human being and seeing if we can be of help or not.

What’s the difficulty in that?

The ‘don’t know mind’.

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I am currently giving a series of presentations about ‘Creating a transformational client experience’ and have been as far apart as Glasgow and Exeter over the past couple of weeks.

One of the first things I share with the audience is that the value they get from the presentation won’t come from me. It will come from their own insights because seeing something new or differently and real change always come from within.

One of the barriers to seeing something new is when we think we already know something and during my presentation, I share a quote from Jiddhu Krishnamurti:
“The most difficult thing to learn is something you think you already know”

Of course, there are times when using what we already know is valuable. My series of presentations are to financial advisers and they have put a huge amount of time and effort into gaining their professional knowledge and qualifications, which is vital so they can give accurate and correct advice.

However, if we always look at life and listen to people through the filters of what we already know, think or believe then we are also filtering out a great deal too.

This reduces the potential for both us and our clients.

The advisers who have the most impact with their clients are excellent at the advice part of their business but what they are really good at is having people get reflective and connecting with what matters most to them.

This is what really brings the advice part of their work to life and takes it from something that can easily be an intellectual exchange to something far more meaningful.

I don’t think it matters what business we are in, there is always that opportunity to reside in the ‘don’t know mind’. To be curious about what could come to us or to whom we are with.

Many people seem to avoid this place of not knowing because we are so used to living out of our intellect. But this becomes very stale and, ultimately, doesn’t bring us any joy.

Eckhart Tolle, author of ‘The power of now’ observed, “When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.”

A cup of tea solves everything!

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A couple of weeks back I was walking round my current fishing lake, deciding where I wanted to fish and came across another angler.

We chatted for a few minutes and he then said:

“Do you want a cup of tea?”

“Do bears poop in the woods?” I replied!

So, he boiled the kettle and we enjoyed a freshly brewed cuppa, which went down a treat as we put the world to rights.

I was reflecting on this and a memory came to mind.

It was just before Christmas 1986 and we got a call that my nan was taken ill and was in Lewisham hospital. My mum, two sisters and I rushed over to see her and found her lying in her hospital bed, looking very poorly.

I will always remember the first thing she said though…

“Do you want a cup of tea John?”

Nan’s are great, aren’t they? Always thinking of you. I will never forget that day because just a couple of hours later she sadly passed away.

Have you seen the film ‘Shaun of the dead’? Zombies are everywhere, so what does Shaun suggest?

“We grab Mum, we go over to Liz’s place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.”

A cup of tea solves everything! Nice and simple.

It occurred to me that the three principles understanding is like a cup of tea for the mind.

There is only ever one problem in life… we forget what is true.

Just recently I found myself in an agitated state of mind. I wrestled with my thinking. Tried to stop it. Intellectually rationalised it.

But all to no avail.

Apart from having a few cups of tea (obviously!) what really helped was remembering.

I just remembered that my feelings always follow my thought.

The way I was feeling had nothing to do with my circumstances. I was just revving up my mind and the faster my thought went the worse I felt.

I fell into the trap of trying to control my thoughts. But we don’t need to do this.

The mind is self-correcting.

As soon as we remember that our mind only works one way our thinking settles, we come back into the present and feel better.

Nice and simple.

No techniques. No pep talks. No self-help books.

Just remembering.

The problem with boundaries…

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Imagine you have a piece of plain white paper and on it, you draw a small circle. Suddenly, you have a boundary – you have inside the circle and outside the circle.

And with every boundary, there is the potential for conflict.

In life, we have all created a great many boundaries. Universally recognised ones, like time for example, and personal ones like our ego, which is the sum of all our self-created boundaries (I am this, I am that, etc.).

Boundaries can be a good idea and the concept of time is clearly useful! It allows us to show up when we are supposed to. Or remember our loved one’s birthdays. Or as a guide to accomplishing something.

But there is still that latent potential for conflict in every boundary.

A client recently shared with me that he felt under pressure because his business had a ‘poor’ month. Revenue was not quite what he wanted.

So, in crossing the boundary from the end of one month to the beginning of next he began to experience a lot of insecure thinking that was not there before.

Instead of being present, calm and open – the very place where we keep perspective and have the most access to intelligent, creative thinking – he got negatively preoccupied and felt bad.

I know that many people will say goals (like monthly targets) are important.

But this is just a made-up idea too. I have seen many people under-perform because they feel under pressure in trying to meet their target. I used to fall into that trap too.

This is not to say targets are a bad thing. They are neutral. But when people get attached to them it does the opposite of what the initial intention was.

It is understanding where our experience is really coming from that sets us free.

Beyond the limitation of the boundaries we make up is the infinite potential of pure consciousness.

Nothing is smarter than this.

I remember Dr. Dicken Bettinger saying (and I am paraphrasing) – ‘We all have the intelligence of the entire universe at our disposal’.

When we appreciate this fact then it stops making sense to put up so many boundaries and it becomes easy to let them go.