For years, I was an almost obsessive consumer of self-help, psychology, and business success material.
Books. Podcasts. Courses. New “breakthrough” ideas.
I was always looking for something that would help me become a better person, get better results, and live a good life.
And to be fair, a lot of what I learned was helpful. Kind of.
But here’s the question I didn’t ask myself at the time:
Why did I feel the need to keep consuming more and more of it?
What was I really looking for?
When I first came across the Inside-Out understanding, something quietly clicked into place.
I realised that, without meaning to, I had been looking for wisdom where I wouldn’t find it.
I was investing huge amounts of time, money, and energy into other people’s thinking – and in the process, I was stifling the flow of my own.
Somewhere along the way, I’d stopped trusting my inner voice. I’d forgotten that insight doesn’t come from outside. It comes from within.
What you already have going for you
I remember hearing the wonderful teacher Dicken Bettinger say:
“You have the intelligence of the entire universe at your disposal.”
The Inside-Out understanding points to something radical but deeply reassuring:
You already have access to a limitless source of fresh thinking, insight, and creativity.
There is a well within you that doesn’t run dry. You don’t need to fill it. You need to stop blocking it.
Why do we block the infinite source?
We don’t do it intentionally.
But when we overthink, get tense, or anxious, we temporarily lose touch with it.
We then start to believe that the answers are “out there” somewhere. In another book. Another mentor. Another strategy. Someone who seems to have it more together than we do.
So, we keep searching.
The problem with borrowed wisdom
Other people’s wisdom is not wrong. It’s just… tailored to their life, their moment, their state of mind.
Why would it automatically be right for you?
A client once told me about a close family member whose life seemed to be a constant struggle, always lurching from one crisis to the next.
He said, “I can see exactly what their problem is. I’ve told them so many times.”
I asked him two simple questions:
*How long have you been giving them advice?
*How many times has your advice actually been taken?
His answers were – seventeen years. And never!
It’s a gentle but powerful reminder:
People don’t change because of our insights. They change when their own insight arrives.
And the same is true for all of us.
Where real answers come from
Think of something in your life that feels difficult right now.
A challenge. A relationship. Or a decision you’re wrestling with. Something you’d love a fresh perspective on.
Here’s the shift that changes everything:
When you see that your experience is being created by thought, not circumstances, your mind naturally begins to settle.
You don’t have to force clarity. You don’t have to “figure it out.” You don’t have to try and pressure yourself to have an answer.
As your mind settles, the right thinking finds you.
Not generic answers. Not borrowed wisdom. But tailor-made insight for your life, your situation, in this moment.
This is what it looks like to stop chasing life and start allowing it to come to you.
